Not just gaming

So if the last couple months have taught me, it's that no matter what you do, there's no winning the game. What is the game? Is it the game you're playing right now, or is it this game called life? Or is that too dramatic and totally dumb? Who knows, only you can answer that for yourself.

Recently I moved to Portland. It's a really nice city with even nicer people. It's awesome. I'm really enjoying it here so far. My personal life hasn't been too super, but it's all good. I'm dealing with it just fine (I think, anyways). Got a full time job that I enjoy, work on the side, still making and selling my art, broke up with my partner, and still live in a really nice town...But something is missing. That something is, well, I haven't really met that many people that I can communicate with on a level that isn't just passing comments (and friendly ones at that!) or just casual conversation.

You see, the thing about me is that I like to have in-depth conversations. Sure, I love gaming, and yeah, I like the bar scene too, but there's a lot more than that. As far as I'm concerned, that's all pretty superficial. Those are just topics that you bring up in conversation, or that people enjoy together and exclaim, "Oh! We have these things in common!". You know, that's nice, but still, a relationship, friendship or otherwise, shouldn't be based on those things alone. Case and point; Met someone at a con, shared a common interest, that person became interested in me, and then it didn't work out because when it came time to talking about actual life stuff, they couldn't wrap their head around it, or didn't want to hear it. Tough.

I used to think that my own way of thinking was 'off', or that later on I became negative. I wouldn't say that I'm negative so much as I'm a realist. A lot of people, it seems nowadays, can't handle up-front honesty. I am a very straight forward person and I think that intimidates a lot of people (It's also cost me a job or two). I'm not the kind of person that's going to pretend to be this or that just to make someone else happy or to make a dollar. Will I say that I'm sorry? No, because if you can't handle it, then I don't want to be around you. I want to be around people that can challenge me in a way that is ego-free. Someone who can make me think, someone with whom I can share ideas, and make me think about possibilities. Someone to grow with intellectually. This and that will only get you so far. Just talk to me, openly, and see what I mean. I don't care to be in large groups and prefer one-on-ones in terms of conversation because I like to avoid the 'group think' mentality. And sure, all you pseudo intellectuals can say that you're above that, but you're not. Don't even try to kid yourself.

It's not just games, videos, blogs, and all that. I am a person, an approachable one at that, and I like to have conversations about everything. I love to learn and experience and just take it all in. That's what keeps me going. Sure I have short and long term goals, but for me it's always about learning. I love to see how things work and love to learn what it is that makes people tick. It may be my background in psychology, or background in bartending and people watching, or independent studies in philosophy, sociology, and many other topics that has set me out to be this way, but I'm cool with that. Whatever it is that you want to talk to me about, just make sure that it's deep and don't be afraid to ask questions. I'm not offended easily so don't even worry about that. Life's too short to deal with petty bullshit.

"OMG Mel, what about gaming?!" Well, when it comes to gaming, I have no problem playing games. I love games, they're a great pastime. Let's play some multiplayer games. Just so you know, I'm not too good at FPS or Fighting Games (with the exception of Guilty Gear), and I'm really good at puzzle, shmups, and racing games. I rather enjoy co-ops, especially retro games. Mario Bros (proper) and Bubble Bobble, well, those are the ones I've been playing at the arcade recently, are a lot of fun in co-op mode. It's a great way to get a conversation going. Galaga? Not so much. It's one of my favorite games, but too many people get butt-hurt when they play against me. Shouldn't it just be fun? Not just the games, but being in the company of other people and having it not just be about that. Or is that too much to ask for?

-Mel